Philouise’s Weblog

Lily of the valleys: Tingguian Maeng Marriage

December became a marry month more than June and I just wished statistics were available to show. Some supposed it is so as it leads on to the New Year, an appropriate time to start life together as couple. Being ninang to two marriages at the end of the year gives me enough motivation to write on this topic and explore my Tinguian Maeng roots.

Not long ago relatives have been going to Abra for weddings and wakes of our relatives on my father side. Very proximate relatives include the Macalingay and Depidip families of Tubo. But recently Darrow Odsey, a cousin from my mother and his mother side, mentioned that we belong to the Gibanay clan. I had occasion to meet some of members of the clan like the Belinos.

When I was heading the Caritas Australia Project in 2000 to 2003 we frequently cross the Abra river up to Luba and Tubo. I have witnessed Singlip of a Peden/Bodong and the Pamalubos during the wake of the dead, aside from the wedding and other festivities. History reveals that the Maengs came from Besao where Tubo shares a boundary, however my Maeng friend Fr. Emil Pati,SVD jokingly say that it is the people of Besao who came from Abra. We may even be related because his mother is a Sagmayao and my dad’s mom is a Sagmayao. My upcoming trip to Abra is through the invitation of Annie Baltar, it may not bring me deep enough into the Maeng land.

Discovering my Tinguian roots I found the following Maengs traditional courtship and marriage practices. Kalon or child betrothal has been practiced for a long time. Practices and societies have changed, however there are still some who continue to practice kalon even in these changing times. When a boy is about six to eight years old he is matched to a girl and his parents or and intermediary visits the parents of the girl. This is with the giving of tree beads as a sign of affection. If the offer is accepted the beads are tied around the waist of the girl as a sign of engagement.

Singlip is a ritual for grown up man and woman. The man’s family visits the woman’s family and a pig is butchered to feed those coming to plan for the marriage. The agreements will include the sabong and the pamauso which is the gift to the bride’s family for the years they took care of the woman. Tadek is the appropriate dance during this occasion.

Pakalon/wolwac is a ritual during the engagement when dowry is settled and a pig is butchered.

Some practices are particular to the Maengs like the three ways of getting married. The first is the Tinipuy/kinaiw where the parents of the bride and groom negotiate and arrange for the wedding. The woman then brings cooked rice to the man’s home, the next day the woman’s parents and some elders go to the man’s house. The mother of the man then cooks food for the visitors and the older men of the village to join the tinipuy. The wedding is then followed with a meal and the dancing of the balliwes and the tadek. The next day the man goes to cut wood and serve the family of the woman. This is reciprocated the next day when the woman goes to the man’s family and serves them. Completing this signifies that they can now live as husband and wife.

The second manner is the eyapdo and is celebrated where two pigs are butchered and the celebration cost is shared by both parties. After the meal, balliwes and tadek are danced by all. The bile and the liver are studied for signs of good fortune for the couple. Should the readings seem unsatisfactory, the wedding continues and another butchering date is scheduled hoping for a favorable reading of the signs.

The costliest of the three avenues is the danon. This is when the woman’s family demand gifts in form of land, money, house, animals, fruit trees and others. At times bargaining commences. The agreed dowry is written in burador signed by the parents of the couple and witnesses from both parties. It is understood that the dowry collected is for the couples to start their married life together. The burador is brought out at the wedding to check on its compliance.

Danon is scheduled on an auspicious day where they expect the whole community and other people come to join the celebration. The one day wedding feast is with eating, dancing and chanting of the oggayam and singing of the Salidumay. Many animals are butchered, young men and women act as servers and usually the kilawen, dinardaraan and lauya are served.

Supon (giving monetary support to the new couples) is practiced. Two or three people are assigned to manage the listing of givers during the festivities. This seemingly is similar to the practice of the Kankana-eys of Mountain Province albeit a smaller scale.

A chance for the couples to dance is given and people are encouraged to pin money on their garments. Competition among the relatives of the man and woman sometimes become a practice to see who receives the greater amount. A designated manager counts all the funds received and announces to the public. Then the duayya follows by an old man and an old woman to bless the couple and prophesy to the couple and their future children. The day closes with the couples thanking everyone.

The lily of the valleys say “My lover is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies. Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, turn, my lover, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the rugged hills.”

philian weygan Jan 10, 2009